Love in an elevator

I work in the tallest building in the state of Louisiana.  Located in downtown New Orleans, it stands 51 stories tall, ironically starting from a height that is below sea level.  It wasn’t until I had been working there for a few weeks that I realized just how much engineering and thought needs to be put into the simple task of just moving people around in a building of this size.

While there are ample numbers of elevators for the general public (24 split into 3 groups of floors), the freight elevators are a much different story.  There are only two of them and in a building with tons of deliveries and construction ongoing on several different floors it fails to be adequate.  Then of course, to make things worse, the building ‘people’ decide that one of the two freight elevators should be taken out of service.  The one freight elevator that is running is very old, and very scary.  It is a metal box that when inside, has nothing but sheet metal on all six sides.  It’s like being inside an oven.

All construction and delivery personnel have already been quarantined and warned repeatedly that they are not to use the passenger elevators.  It’s the freight or the stairs, and most people don’t choose to walk up or down 30+ flights of stairs.

So, I today I was burdened with the task of having to take 6 boxes down to the loading dock on the ground floor.  Three of the boxes were on the 21^st floor, and the other three on the 32^nd floor.  These boxes are only about a foot wide and a foot deep, but are 10 feet long, and weigh about 90 lbs. each.  To make things more challenging, they do not fit in the elevators whilst on the cart, and must be taken off, one at a time and stood upright.

I get my cart from the 21^st floor and proceed to attempt to get up to the 32^nd floor to get the first three boxes.  I wait for 10 minutes for the freight elevator to finally stop for me, and when the door slides open, I literally see about 60 Mexicans, all dressed in white (they are painters) crammed in the elevator like sardines.  It was like a scene from a Kubrick movie or something.

Obviously, I just shake my head and watch the door close, and begin the waiting process all over again.  Five more minutes pass, and once again the door slides open to reveal six guys strategically wedged between carts filled with doors, plywood, and sheet rock.  I let out several expletives and wait some more.

On a bit of a side note, there is something to do to help pass the time while waiting.  Apparently due to the boredom caused by the long delays, several enterprising individuals have decided to write things on the wooden closet doors that are opposite the main freight elevator.  I will give you some direct quotes from the doors now.  “Wayne Newton is God”, “Bilbo Baggins was here”, “Can I nut in your ear?”, “There is a prophet among us”, “Michael Jackson not guilty” (the not has been scratched through).  Also, it seems that at some point in the past there was a contest among the authors to list the crappiest musicians/bands that ever existed.  “Englebert Humperdink”, “Pilot”, “King Crimson”, and “Bay City Rollers” are only a few inked up there.

Eventually, I got my boxes where they needed to be.  I will post up some pics of these doors, so you can see the magic for yourselves.

Would?

Wow, it is long overdue that I post something here. In keeping with the overall theme of this blog, I am going to ramble a bit about politics here in LA. This Paul Sawyer guy running for Congress has really got me fired up.

For those unaware, this guy’s entire political agenda is to attack Woody Jenkins. I’m not a Woody Jenkins fan, or a fan of any of these people for that matter. The reason that Paul Sawyer irritates me is because he insults my intelligence. Actually, either he is assuming that I am very stupid, or he himself is actually extremely stupid.

What does it say about a candidate whose only message is to tell you why you should not vote for his opponent? This guy has spent all his time and money advertising on TV and radio, and plastering his website with “Why you shouldn’t vote for my opponent”. Not one word of why anyone SHOULD vote for him. Well, maybe there are some materials on his website that talk about his qualifications, but he has spent his entire advertising budget on this strategy.

I would think (and probably anyone else with common sense) that if you spent all your time telling me why not to vote for the opponent rather that why to vote for you, that it must be because you don’t really have any good reasons to vote for you. Furthermore, even if you do have good reasons, you have turned me off to listening to them, due to your whining, childish approach to the process.

Maybe the very fact that this seems so common sense to me is indicative of why I would never make a good politician. I don’t (and wouldn’t) “play the game” as it is necessary to do in this realm, especially in this state. On that note, allow me to rant a bit about the ethics reforms that were just passed.

First, who can’t eat for $50 per meal? Last time I checked, even at the Legislative Café (aka Ruth’s Chris), fifty bucks will get you a decent steak and side. Of course, Ruth’s will do whatever it takes to accommodate their favorite clients. The $50 legislative special is probably already on the menu, just for such an occasion. In Florida, they passed legislation that is referred to as the ‘coffee cup law’. It states that a lobbyist cannot buy a legislator anything. Not even a cup of coffee.

Some moron from our own legislature was quoted saying that, “I have friends in the Florida legislature, and they have missed out on hearing and learning about important issues from lobbyists thanks to this law.” Wow. You are telling me (and everyone else) that your ears and brain do not function in the presence of a lobbyist unless the magical elixir of alcohol and red meat are being consumed? Why don’t you also tell me that unless you are lying in a bed made entirely of thousand dollar bills that you can’t sleep at night?

Why were these ethics reforms so hard to get passed?? Easy. The entire reason that ninety percent of the legislature show up is because of the ethically reprehensible things that they get to do. They see it as a benefit to being elected. Passing ethics reform to them is like taking away you and I’s health insurance benefit at our jobs. And how about the bill proposed that said that if you are ever convicted of anything and go to jail then you would lose your benefits? This idea went over like a turd in a punchbowl. What does that tell you?

I can imagine what the discussion was like around this one. “Well damn Jim, I got so many skeletons in my closet that it looks like I dug up Auschwitz. It’s only a matter of time before I get busted on something, and after that settles down, I damn sure don’t wanna have to work for a living.”

Then again, maybe in some strange, twisted way, this does show that they have a moral conscience. After all, the most prominent person that this would affect would be our own ‘Legend of Political Bastardness’ – Edwin W. Edwards. And since a good portion of the legislature today probably owe their very political existence to him in some way, shape or form; you can see why they would oppose this. “Don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family.”

I still remain hopeful that Governor Jindal can make some changes, but he is a small Indian David facing a huge, bloated, filthy, conniving Goliath.